Craving it.

I have these moments; moments of desire, of lust, of passion, hate, gratitude, love, anger, sadness, remorse, fear, ecstasy, temptation.

I mean we all do, these moments are defining, they make us…well us, whoever we may be

Addicts, mothers, grandparents, sons, daughters, wives, lovers, sisters, friends, colleagues.

Without these moments of passion or weakness, what would we be left with? Would we want to be the person that was standing there without these moments? They are the best and worst things about being human. They make you feel remorse, regret, excitement, adrenaline, happiness, fear, love. They make you say you’re sorry more often than you probably should. They put you on the street with one wrong move. They destroy families. They bring together soul mates. They empower. They ruin. They bring you to tears of pure happiness in that simple moment that you look into the eyes of the person you love and realize that you don’t have to hold yourself to such high standards. That those flaws make you who you are and without them, there wouldn’t be a person there to love anymore.

I’ve been reflecting on these moments a lot lately, I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that I’ve gone cold turkey on quitting every substance in my life or what but let me tell you, whoever you may be reading this, that quitting something, anything, cold turkey takes a hell of a lot of strength, gum, distraction and patience.

Back on track…

I read somewhere that when you quit something (in this instance it was smoking) that you have moments during the day of craving. Craving. Moments of craving. Moments. Craving. Hm.

I don’t think they were just talking about quitting smoking.

I think this is the root of everything that makes these defining “moments” in your life stick out. We’re human, we crave, we want, we desire. It’s embedded in who we are. To want for what we do not have, to lust for things out of our reach.

So this must have been that all mighty lesson God had in mind for Adam and Eve when he put that damn apple in front of them, huh?

I get it. Finally, I get it. Human nature is about failing, we weren’t ever supposed to leave that apple alone. We have to fail to learn. Why? Because that makes each one of us unique. We each have an individual threshold we can stand before giving into something. You have to give in to that craving in order to understand what it’s like to mess up. We all do it with different things. We all have our own vices. I guess it’s more about looking at them in a different way. It’s about learning which ones you want to make or break you.

So you there, you eat that last bit of ice cream.

Sprint that last 100 meters.

Tell her you love her.

Leave that jerk.

Watch that sunrise.

Help that homeless person.

Fight for what you want.

Throw out that pack of cigarettes.

Mess up.

Say you’re sorry.

Tell the truth.

Fall in love, fall out of love, fall in love, fall out of love. Do this over and over again until you know the true meaning.

For the love of god make your own mistakes, pick yourself up, dust off your pants and stop blaming that crack in the road for making you fall.

Peace love and all those little moments.

-B